I am a firm believe in fate. There are so many times that I have been tested in my life, things have happened that just make me laugh because it all seems too specific. I’ve often joked that someone out there has a voodoo doll of me and keeps inflicting bad luck upon my life but nonetheless I carry on. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, I read into the “signs” I receive during the day, no matter how silly it sounds.
As of recently I have been trying to focus more on maintaining my positive mindset, trying to rid myself of my young adolescent angst. I have been turning my signs into positive ones, even if they don’t seem that way. To stick to my Foster Care Awareness month theme, I’m going to tell of the signs that I received on April 5th 2019.
Why April 5th 2019? That would be the day that S came to our home, a very significant moment in our year! On this particular day I was loaded with symbols, coincidence perhaps, but all in all they eased my nerves because they were such beautiful little occurrences throughout my day until she arrived. On April 5th, the sixteenth day of Spring our hometown was showered with snow flurries. While snow in Spring is not a rare occurrence for upstate New York, it was special because of the meaning behind it.
Snow is one of the symbols that constantly shows up for me. When it snows in Spring, when we get the first snowfall of the year, something special is happening in my life, usually. A few examples include, when my Mother moved into her apartment after leaving her husband, it snowed. The night that Estelle was born, it snowed. Throughout the years I’ve learned that snow symbolizes purity, innocence, fresh beginnings or a blanket over the ugliness that is life. I was so happy to have received this symbol because we were told on the phone that S “wants a fresh start with a new family”. I mean, come on if it didn’t snow I would have been a little disappointed!
The second symbol I received that day is pictured below:
This last year I have gotten into gardening a little bit. I would love to someday have a self sustaining lifestyle, where we can grow our own vegetables and have animals. So this is the first Spring that I decided to try out growing some plants for myself! Early in March my Mother’s father, also called Pop, generously brought his little indoor greenhouse over to our house so that I could start some seedlings indoors. I checked them daily, made sure they were watered and in the sunlight, etc. I checked the greenhouse right before S came that day and this is what I saw, growth in the form of baby luffa gourd seedlings.
I do not need to elaborate on the symbolism of growth because it speaks for itself! S coming to our home marked a milestone in our lives, our first foster child. We have put in so much work to ensure our home was prepared and that we were ready to start this new journey. We had come so far in our relationship and this was the turning point in our adulthood. My fear was gone in that moment when I discovered what was inside the greenhouse and I felt ready to help a child in growing to their full potential as well.
The last (but not least) sign that I received on April 5th, was a new moon. I’ve been reading a little about the study of astrology, as it has always been something that has fascinated. When I was younger I used to love reading horoscopes and comparing them to the people in my life. In Astrology a new moon is another sign of a new beginning! In other cultures it is “an opportunity to celebrate new beginnings, embark on life transitions and obtain spiritual healing from the moon’s energy” (from moonglow.com) This was a major life transition for all of us, going from two children to three children in our household, being parental figures to another teenager. S was in desperate need of healing after the year she had and we were there to provide her with that fresh beginning.
In life, there are always going to be things that will try to bring you down. It’s so much easier to give in to that negativity and give up but I so strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Life isn’t always supposed to be easy, there are things that will take place in order to teach you a lesson whether you take advantage of the lessons or not is up to you. If you’ve never looked for the signs personally, slow down and take a look around. You never know what you might see!