Mom-Guilt

“Do you Just Hate Working?”

A tiny reminder for myself to bloom where I am planted.

Is a question I’ve been asked several times throughout the course of my working career. This coming August will mark my 10 year anniversary of being a working individual. I only have what, 50 more years to go? It’s crazy to think about, but looking back I really appreciate the opportunities and experiences I’ve been able to have by working for so long.

I started working when I was 13 years old at my Uncles pizza restaurant, washing dishes for him “under the table”. I was in seventh grade at the time and wanted to make money to buy myself clothes and other things, because my Mom couldn’t really afford to at the time. So while all my friends were going to sports practice after school or going home to watch YouTube videos I was working one or two shifts a week, until I was old enough to obtain my working papers and get more hours. I worked for him for about 5 years, until I decided that I wanted a change of scenery.

Not that I was ungrateful, but I didn’t like working there after a time. I hated washing dishes for hours on end, coming home soaking wet and smelly. My Uncle is a hard ass boss, even to family and I was ready to try something different and have the potential to make more money while working less days.

So I decided to become a server when I was 18. I figured I could make more money that way and so I applied to tapas restaurant downtown and got the job. It was a small place, with only 6 employees or so. It wasn’t a very busy as they were still working out the kinks of the restaurant business, but it provided me with enough experience to realize that I was not meant to work in the service industry. I stayed for about a year and a half, before I left there for good.

While I was working at the restaurant, I also worked as a student proctor for the testing center at the community college I was attending. It was extremely convenient because I could work in between classes and also have a quiet place to hangout on campus that wasn’t totally crowded with people. The job was fairly easy, I simply had to read test questions and answer options to students with learning disabilities. Sometimes the students didn’t even want me to read the entire test, just a question or two and I was free to stare at my phone until they were finished.

Throughout high school and college I worked seasonally as a “helper” for the Easter Bunny and Santa portraits at the mall. It was a really fun job! Taking pictures all day, seeing adorable children and making families happy. I grew pretty close to one of the managers I worked with for 6 years and we still talk to this day! However, that had it’s fair share of negative people who were out to make your day a living hell. I worked at this job up until I was pregnant with Estelle and became to ill to work.

I also had a job as a cashier at JoAnn Fabrics while I was in college. I really liked talking to customers about their creative ideas and it inspired me to start sewing and crafting more also! After almost a year of listening to people bitch at me about their expired coupons not working, I had enough. Conveniently, I was also graduating and so I was able to get a job in my field as a phlebotomist. Which is where I have been for three years now!

I guess being in the state of mind I am now, I do hate working a little bit. I don’t particularly like waking up at 6 in the morning every weekday. I miss out on spending time with the adults because there’s only an hour or so between my bedtime and Estelle’s bedtime. Josh and my schedules line up so his weekend starts when my weekend ends and that is something else I don’t particularly like either. But at the same time, I don’t hate my job. I feel like I’m good at what I do! I’ve had patients write letters about my skills as a phlebotomist and give them to management or talk me up to their doctors (also my bosses) and it’s an overall good feeling. I’ve also created friendships in the lab (finally) that I hope will last me a long time.

Maybe I’m the problem? I guess I get bored easily, tired of the same shit different day. As a Mom though, I never feel like I have enough time in the day to accomplish everything I want and quitting my job so I can do more things isn’t feasible right now. I guess I’ll just keep looking, hell maybe I’ll even start my own business. Why not?

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